LIBBY COOPER, YOU’RE A STAR
the first and last dad joke
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
So there’s this “protocol officer” on board who’s supposed to prevent Kirk from… bending… the Prime Directive, and she wants dirt on the captain.
So she asks Spock.
And Spock just:
introverts: cuddle up in blanket and watch netflix
extroverts: smash the tv with a baseball bat because sports
I touched John Green’s crotch.
It felt mushy.
If he sees this post it will be really awkward. Hopefully he’s too busy right now to be reading through posts he’s tagged in.
*I should stress that it was an accident. He was stage diving. I was trying to hold him up. Hands ended up places.
I remember you.
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
Remember when Martha fast-forwarded through parts of the video in Human Nature and Family of Blood?
This is what she was actually fast-forwarding through.
4 FOR YOU TENNANT.
THIS MAN IS PERFECT
"hey scott wassup can i mccall you back"
"no allison, it’s argent"
Asking someone to lower the electric current running through a lamp by an incredibly specific measurement like
"turn down four watt"
He is: Van Wayne, the Dark protector of Goughtham